January 22, 2001

CD: Dude, did you see Seventh last night? What's up with all the naked hairless boychests? Not cool, not cool at all.

BM: I missed all but a vomit-worthy two minutes. There was an APB on me at the bar that I had to leave my house and make an appearance for. You'd think my name was Norm or something.

I did see the part where Lucy is talking to Mary, complaining about the boys not wearing shirts. And in walks Matt, and behind him Simon, shirtless! I was fucking disgusted, mainly because Simon's moustache had a better growth spurt in the off-season than his physique. I was reminded of those supposedly child-porn Calvin Klein ads from a few years back. Simon looked like he just stepped out from one of those.

Lucy's tits, on the other hand, are lately pushed up past her ears. What the hell? I have a feeling she's mistaken one of Matt's wrestling headgears for a wonderbra. There was a scene of her walking around the kitchen, bitching to her mom, and then Robbie saves the day...he's made the pasta, set the table, steamed the artichokes "...you love artichokes, don't you Mrs. Camden?" ...deflowered Lucy... all of that shit is taken care of with this little punk around the house. Lucy and Mrs. C seemed to be a little tired of having nothing to do. After this scene of immense crap, I finished the Degrassi High tape I'd been watching and then made the move to the bar to drown the sight of Simon topless in bourbon. Christ, I was disturbed last night, the first time ever watching 7th.

CD: Sounds like you missed the scene where Ruthie confesses to Lucy that she has a crush on Robbie. Lucy gently explains that Robbie probably won't reciprocate, because he still sort of likes Mary. "Yeah, and he'd fucking get ARRESTED," people are shouting from home. The sexual tension on this show is all kinds of wrong.

You missed one other key plot point: Matt's roommate John, who got engaged last episode, met his fiancee's parents. Turns out that the parents are frowning on this engagement because, duh, the two kids are still in college and barely just met each other. So they cut off John's fiancee, and she has to move in with John, even though they "disapprove of pre-marital cohabitation." That means Matt has to move out. It was real sad.